It Hurts To think you Were Different :/

You brought me to a land
I thought ceased to exist.
You held me in your arms
and kept me strong.

And now in the Land of Fear
I look for you,
and you are no longer there.
You brought me to a place I feared
A place so dark even my shadow
is too afraid to keep me company
and then you left..

I stand now alone in the dark
while an eternal fall stares at me.
My Fight is fading as I lean forward
Embracing the eternal drop....

The Life of a Phoenix

I can feel the Dark Shadows creeping up my neck..
Life and Blood being sacrificed for what?
When the pain is unbearable,
I feel like ripping out my own heart.

I was burnt to the Ground.
and Raised from the Ashes.
I long to spread my wings
and fly above the Highest Clouds.
From Ashes I was born.
And to Ashes I will return.

I am a Phoenix,
But I am not a Symbol of Anyone's Ludicrous.
I am a symbol of life,
Ich bin ein Symbol des Lebens,
I am a symbol of strength,
Ich bin ein Symbol der Stärke,
I am a symbol of Weakness,
Ich bin ein Symbol der Schwäche
I am a Symbol of Regeneration
Ich bin ein Symbol der Wiedergeburt
Because I am ME! Ich bin selbst!

In an alley which has no end
Why do you breath?
In an alley which has no end
Why do you live?
What lies at the end of the tunnel?
What keeps you going
to an unknown destination?
Is it Hope? or is it Foolishness?
Or is it that faith of finding salvation?

The Door To Reality

You can build four walls around you,
And paint them with any scenery you want.
But that doesn't change where you are.
You are still in that same room,
staring at a world built on lies.

For how long can you keep painting those walls?
Someday you will run out of paint..
And your walls will fade to emptiness.

We are all scared to open that door.
Because we don't know what lies beyond it.
But you will never find out,
Unless you reach for it and open it yourself.

Don't be afraid, stand up for what you believe in.
Open that door, and see for yourself,
What lies beyond this room you stay in.
Look out to the world,
And you will find it waiting with open arms.

Now close your eyes, open that door,
Feel the cool breeze kissing your cheeks
And flowing through your hair.
Feel the wind wipe your tears away.
For love in life, is found within.

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

The Feeling of Loss and Betrayal

I’m sick of this country... I’m sick of the cold hearted, third rate, jobless, insensitive freaks that conquer this land. I’m sick of this life... Sick of going through the same pain over and over again...
Dark angel of death come and kiss me.... make me numb... make me callous to the sorrows I with stand. Send me off to a dark hole of solitude and save me from this treacherous world. The good we do burns in flames and it’s always our weakness and mistakes that leaves a scar on our providence... and yet we’re supposed to stay strong and fuel the fires hypocrisy?.. It’s ludicrous .. we are not fools and we shall not be treated like ones... making us vulnerable to temptations of man kind, they think they can enchant us in their melody of senseless emotions.. it’s best be rid of fantasy.. and mould your soul to be cold enough to withstand the injustice and heartburn this world has to offer...

The Feeling of Loss and Betrayal
Do you have what it takes to overcome it

Somebody Save Me

I bare my soul on a silver platter - my back to the wall blindfolded tied up battered
Yearning for someone someone to end this misery but will that someone anyone ever come to rescue me?

Somebody save me, I'm close to the edge - someone to fill me with life give me dreams I've never had
Somebody save me and answer my pleas - someone to lift me back up and put my heart at ease
Somebody help me please

Outcast alone searching but never finding - I'd give my all for a trace of silver lining
Yearning for someone someone to end this misery but will that someone anyone ever come to rescue me?

Somebody save me, I'm close to the edge - someone to fill me with life give me dreams I've never had
Somebody save me and answer my pleas - someone to lift me back up and put my heart at ease
Somebody help me please

There's not much left for me to lose can anyone heal these wounds?
Someone to start my life anew - where's that someone where are you?

Somebody save me, I'm close to the edge - someone to fill me with life give me dreams I've never had
Somebody save me and answer my pleas - someone to lift me back up and put my heart at ease
Somebody help me please

 

I pray for Hope.. Pray that this is it... I pray for I cannot take another heartbreak.. I feel it inside, It's meant to be. God can't u see it? Please let this be it.

Dated : 27th June 2010

The Burning Scarecrow

I'm walking all alone in this wast field. The dark shadowy sky reflects the feelings within my heart. What was once filled with light and happiness is now only filled with sorrow and pain. I continue my walk in hope of finding that light that once made me a happy man. But I see no such light..

All of a sudden I spot a soft glare across the thick dark sky. Praying to god hoping my dreams will come true I run towards it. As fast as I can, hoping that my chance won't pass by. Out of breath I cannot stop. I must go on for my dreams is just beyond. Finally, Gasping I reach the light which I thought would satisfy my soul. I looked up to see my dreams flash before my eyes. The reflection of flames burn through my eyes. The glare I thought were the answers to my dreams, turned out to be a Burning scarecrow. The only sign of company in this forbidden field, burning before my eyes. I fall to my feet, wondering when will this pain end. when will I be complete, When will I find the happiness I long for. When will I find a way out of this miserable field.

I look back up into scarecrow's eyes. I'm surprised to see a sign of satisfaction. I start to think my life is no different. Standing alone in the middle of a forbidden field known as life. No one to care no one to love. Protecting this land we call mother earth. protecting our faith and our beliefs. only to be struck by lightening and be deceived by mother nature itself. Everything we lived for, everything we believed in washed away in ashes that will surely be forgotten. Why can't I not find the path. Doesn't she realize the only path I'm in search of is a path to walk with her. All I'm asking is a chance to work on things. God do you not see. This is all I want. I've craved and begged from you for this. Please Don't Burn my dreams and hopes into ashes. Give me a chance. let me show you I can be who I want to be. Let me show you that I will live my life for the greater good. Just give me a chance. that's all I ask...

Date : 9th July 2012

Darkness that drowns everything inside

"You're the biggest burden to this Family!"
"I'm still Slaving Because of you!"
"You are so Irresponsible!"
"none of the other kids ever gave me as much trouble as you have given me!"
"the Entire Family is in Shame because of you!"
"You always create the initial mistakes!"
"I don't know when I can rest in peace because of this stupid child!"
"You are creating endless problems! How do I face our relations?"
"We always have to cover up for u!" = he is a screw up and we are ashamed of him

Take me away.... just take me away...
Please why do u keep me in a place where I am not wanted?
I do not wish to be a burden to anyone in my life,
If I am such a burden to the place I am, then just take me away...
Give them the freedom and the serenity they have longed for.
Give them the freedom and the serenity they deserve.
Take me away... to a land far away.
Where birds fly without the fear of being shot at,
Where people walk in their naked truth,
not wearing a mask, but just being themselves.
Take me to a place where the waters are still and untroubled,
take me to a place where everything is quiet and subtle.
Take me far away, to a place where love has meaning and hate has none.
Take me away, where passion is not just a fruit, but a way of life.

Son: Mom I had a dream do u wanna hear about it?
Mother: Son! I told u. Never have dreams. That way when they don't come true, you won't be disappointed


Dated : 11th May 2011